There was some strange feeling of disorientation when she looked at the
sceneries of the city out of the window of her taxi. She felt both familiar with
it and completely detached. It was like one day you would come across the book
on your bookshelf, which you used to adore as a child, but when you finally sat
down anticipating to be swept away by the imaginary world you found yourself
mildly disappointed. Because even though the book is the same and the words are
the same, you can’t read it as you could when being a child. Nothing changed
except you.
She had changed, there was no denying it. But she could feel it more
acutely when looking at her native city with stranger’s eyes. She was long
past fretting stage – that had when during the flight – and now she was
fighting the guilty feeling of disappointment mixed with nostalgia.
When the taxi finally reached her destination, she stepped out onto the
pavement with a barely hint of quick heartbeat. Paying the taxi driver and then
busying herself with smoothing the hem of her knee-length coat she only briefly
delayed the moment before she finally turned and found herself face to face with
the
The magic had been lost.
A small square, no more pretty or cleaner than any of the squares she had
seen. People walking paid no attention to her, while once anybody’s very
appearance would have been considered an event. The walls of the fortress had
lost their glimmer and looked simply dull.
That was when she found her heart speeding up.
She willed her legs to move. She walked stiffly every second expecting
some one to shout and stop her. Nobody blinked an eye as she approached the
place that had been considered a
There was no post or guard to prevent anyone entering. The street just
blended with the courtyard, devoid of any visible border. But she could vividly
imagine that border and briefly hesitated before crossing it. And suddenly she
was inside while everybody else was outside.
Cobblestone pavement was dirty and littered with rubbish. One of the
street lamps flickered above her head. Her steps seemed to echo between the
walls. She entered a dead city.
She looked at the walls, not believing her eyes. Once bright and
shimmering they were covered with graffiti and obscene words. She touched a
rough surface with her glove-covered fingers. What once would have been
considered a sacrilege was in plain view and ignored by everybody.
Overwhelmed she leaned on the wall closing her eyes for a moment. It had
been years but those memories were still fresh in her mind.
They had been young and foolish and too much in love with each other and
with a strange fortress that towered above the rest of the
They had laughed at the threats and chased with the bullets. They had
thought themselves to be invincible and sung to sirens. But then there had been
an air-attack warning and the bombs had flown like a milliard of black insects,
growing bigger with every second. Barking dogs and screams and the red bricks
covered with the color of true Revolution.
She was broken.
He was dead.
But the City remained.
//