Chapter II

He was running up and up the stairs. His feet so acquainted with the steps that he didn’t have to look down in the fear of stumbling. Although the familiar feeling of dread was creeping up his spine, he was strangely sure that he would make it in time. He knew he had to. Reaching the top, he spared the door less than a glance, noticing only that the red symbols seemed to glow with more menace than usual.

In a heartbeat he was on the roof, panting and peering into the darkness, looking for the familiar figure. And there it was, perched on the very edge of the house-top, wind tugging at its clothes and hair, making it appear as if it was flying.

Then it turned to him and in a second the thick eyelashes, milky white skin and full lips were revealed. He smiled stretching his hand to Changmin, Why wouldn’t you join me?

He woke up to someone calling out his name. And for the brief second, still caught in his dream, Changmin struggled against the hands that were holding him down. Disoriented he paused only when his fist suddenly collided with something soft and with a soft ‘ooh’ his attacker was off him.

When the light was turned on, Changmin saw his new acquaintance holding his hand to his cheek and looking at him warily – the other hand on the wall near the light switch. The sight immediately cut through his nightmare induced fog blurring his mind, and made him groan in frustration.

“I am sorry”, he said, avoiding any eye contact, “Are you okay?”

Kim’s eyes were large and his reply hesitant, “Y-yes.” He viewed Changmin, who sat in his bed, face in his hands, his body still shivering from shock. “I will make you some tea”, he said and quickly escaped the room, leaving Changmin to brace himself.

Although with having the lights on was by far easier to deal with the remains of the nightmare, the images still lingered in his mind, clenching his stomach in knots and sending goose-bumps down his arms. Changmin was baffled to what kind of meaning this sudden turn in his dream might have. He tried to reconcile himself with the thought that it was just a coincidence and had nothing to do with the young man, whom he had taken in himself.

It was too bizarre to be a coincidence, but it also was too improbable to be called a fate. There had to be a rational explanation to it. Maybe it was just the strange encounter in itself, that caused the young man penetrate his dream. Maybe it was some sub-consciousness thing’s doing. Or both. Or maybe…

“Here you are”, his ponderings were interrupted by the soft voice. Looking up Changmin saw Kim standing near his bed and hesitantly offering him a steaming cup. The boy was wearing Changmin’s old t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, for he had nothing else to offer as a suitable sleepwear. The t-shirt’s collar was stretched and falling off one shoulder. He looked both ridiculous and cozy in the clothes which didn’t suit him.

Changmin accepted the cup with murmured words of gratitude. It felt almost bearably hot to his chilled hands, as he held it clasped and breathed in the aroma. The silence stretched; he took little sips of the liquid. He was acutely aware of Kim, who was now sitting on the floor near his bed, his leg crossed, and was watching him with unreadable eyes. His cheek where it had accounted the collision with Changmin’s clenched hand was dark red, and the boy felt guilty even looking at it.

“I am sorry I hit you”, he said again. With the corner of his eye Changmin saw the other shake his head, “It is nothing. You were having a nightmare and I wanted to wake you up.”

A nightmare? Oh yes.

“I am sorry I woke you up”, but Kim just shrugged. He said nothing for a second, and Changmin cringed mentally, anticipating the question he knew was about to come.

“What did you dre…”

The question was interrupted by the loud thud, as Changmin slammed the cup down on the night table, ignoring the hot remains of his tea, which splashed on his fingers. Kim was startled, and for a moment Changmin felt sorry for him. With the half suppressed sigh, he apologized for what seemed to be hundredth time this night, “I am sorry. I am tired and have to get up early tomorrow. I need to catch some sleep.”

Catching the obvious implication, his guest rose from the floor and headed towards the couch in the corner, he had occupied earlier. Passing the light switch he paused before flickering it off and said, “I will be there if anything…”

Changmin wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the offer, because there was nothing Kim could do, not that he was going to allow him do anything in the first place. His nightmare was his private thing. But he found the offer surprisingly comforting. Anything that he couldn’t have said in the answer was swallowed by a sudden darkness.

Shifting up in his bed and settling down, Changmin prepared himself for spending the remainder of the night in absolute wakefulness, for even a thought to close his eyes was repulsive for him at the moment. He willed his body in the state of numbness, his mind devoid of all thoughts as he lay in bed watching the red digital numbers of his clock tick away the minutes.

It was the twenty fourth of October.

//

Yunho rang the bell for the umpteenth time and stood leaning just a bit to the door framing, tapping his foot impatiently. It’d been three days and Yoochun hadn’t returned any of his calls since then. Yunho could understand his friends wish to be alone to nurse his grief, but he was also worried lest his emotional friend would cause himself any harm in his state of despair.

He was going to press the doorbell button again, when with the visible reluctance the lock clicked and the door opened to a fraction. Yunho was presented with the view of his grieving friend. The black pants and untucked rumpled dress shirt implied that he hadn’t bothered to change upon return home. Grey smudges of stubble on his face, messy hair - he reeked of unwashed skin and consumed alcohol, as Yunho pushed past him into the apartment.

It was something of a cultural shock to see a once luxurious dwelling, attended and decorated with love and care, in the state of unbelievable disorder. The paintings that once had adorned the walls were gone. The variety of surfaces was covered with litter: crumpled pieces of paper, ashtrays overfull with cigarette butts and empty bottles. Some of the shelves, once proudly full with various volumes or articles of decor, stood half empty; their contents spilled on the floor. If anything, the drawn curtains only added to the gloom of the quarters.

Disgusted and aggrieved by the scene Yunho marched to the large window and pulled the curtains open. Next came the window – and immediately the fresh breeze entered the room, chasing the still foul air away. Behind him Yunho heard his friend wince at the sudden bright light. Turning he surveyed Yoochun silently, noting the reddened eyes and dark circles, pale flesh, an uncharacteristic slump of the shoulders. The state his friend was in was confirming one of his deepest fears.

Still not uttering a word Yunho processed to the bedroom and the closet he knew was situated there. From there he extracted a fresh pair of dark blue jeans and a red t-shirt - opting for simple and not trendy - with which he went back into the living room and thrust the above named garments into Yoochun’s hands. “I believe, you can get fresh underwear yourself”, he added dryly.

But his friend only glanced at him with puzzlement annoying Yunho even more. Stifling a frustrated sigh, he said, “You reek. And we are going out. And there is no way you are going out like that. So go and take a shower.”

“But why?..”

‘Why what?’, thought Yunho in frustration, ‘Are you so selfish and so absorbed in your grief that you can’t see that it pains us all as much as it pains you? How much it hurts me?’

Aloud he simply said, “I am your friend, and I am not going to simply watch you wither away.” With that said, he pushed Yoochun towards the bathroom. As the door shut behind him, Yunho set about cleaning the room at least just a bit. Sometime later, the litter thrown away and the things in semi-order, he sat down heavily in the armchair. Looking around the room for some things he might have missed in his impromptu cleaning, he noticed the overturned frame, which held the photograph he had seen millions of times. For a brief moment Yunho contemplated if he should set it right, but then left the matter unresolved, as his friend emerged from the bathroom.

Smelling fresh with a light trace of aftershave Yoochun looked uncertain about to do now. Faking a cheerfulness which never reached his eyes, Yunho rose from his seat and said, “Let’s go.”

//

Dining out with the state his friend was in anyone would find disturbing to say the least. And for Yunho it was a pure nightmare. Not only had he to speak for both of them, since Yoochun hardly spoke at all since they had left the sanctuary of his home, but also he was forced to order for the both of them and then witness the other not take even a single bite through the course of their meal. It was frustrating, heart-wrenching, and although Yunho fully realized that there was nothing he could do, he didn’t know how to deal with the situation like that. Gradually his chatting abated, and the silence which fell was the most awkward one.

No matter how cruel it might sound, Yunho was glad when he left his mourning friend at the steps of the wealthy apartment building and drove home. When he reached it and was finally enveloped in his girlfriend’s embrace, he was able to relax and reflect upon the situation with more sober head. Lying on the bed in the deliciously warm circle of LeeSoo’s arms, he mused, “When I heard the news, I knew he would be devastated. I expected grief and tears and maybe even a suicide attempt. But not this emptiness, not this indifference.”

Yunho shivered, and felt the arms around him tighten. He burrowed his head into her chest, closing his eyes and breathing in the floral odour of her skin. LeeSoo’s smell was as gentle as was her touch, when she was brushing his hair. Her voice possessed the same quality, as she said, “It is a terrible loss. It is understandable that he suffers so much.”

His answer was a bit muffled, “But I thought him to be much stronger.”

“Silly boy”, LeeSoo kissed the top of his head, “you’ve never lost anyone so important to you, and God grant, never will.”

Yunho let out a long sigh. Pushing back a little so he could look into his girlfriend’s eyes, he said, “You are right. Why are you always right? Is it some kind of woman wisdom which comes together with second X chromosome?”

LeeSoo chuckled, “Quite may be.” Bestowing another kiss, onto his lips this time, she said, “Now sleep.”

And sleep he did, unhunted by nightmares and guarded by the love of the girl, in whose embrace he lay through the night.

~*~

p.s. I came up with the name 'LeeSoo' quiet randomly. I have no idea if it is an actual name or not. And I have no idea why I felt the need to write both syllabeles in caps, while others names not. *shrug* It just looks better this way.

p.p.s. I am quite aware of the lame summary, thank you. I am open to suggestions. If anybody feels the wish to write a proper summary for me, be my guest.

p.p.s. And since I almost finished chapter 4, I think I will be posting chapter 3 quiet soon. The bloody fic kept me busy the whole day, when I had to be studying for my finals. It just proves that I have no will power whatsoever.

~*~

to be continued